AS READ ON 3/24/2019 by: Matthew Howell
I want to let you all in on who I was and who I am now. I want to share a portion of what God has done for me and through me.
First off, I was raised in this church. My parents are members. My grandparents are members, I even had great grandparents that were members here. I was blessed to be given a great start in life. I was taught early in life about what Christ had done through his life, death, and resurrection. But I never really “got it”.
Looking back, I started out as a “good kid”. I tried to stay out of trouble. Always wanted to be helpful around the house. I wanted to make good grades. I was determined to graduate high school. And to NEVER do drugs!!
Well, by the time I was 13 I had already tried smoking marijuana and drinking beer. By the time I was around 17 I was smoking and drinking almost every day! I didn’t care about school or home life. My reason for living was just for a “good time”.
My grades in high school suffered from my partying lifestyle. After 4 years I didn’t have the required credits to graduate so I dropped out. I had given up on two of my primary childhood goals: Graduation and being drug free.
By the time I was 20 I was married and had my first child. I tried to straighten up for my daughters’ sake. I slowed down on a lot of my bad habits, but I was no role model. It was a toxic marriage. One that my family begged me to not get into. After a couple years and another baby, the marriage ended like most do in those environments.
After the split, I went spinning out of control. Heavy drinking and going to bars and clubs every weekend. I always tried to hide it from my kids but I’m sure I didn’t do a good job at that.
After a while I started running with a new group of friends. When we were not going to the bars, we would just hang out at Bob’s house. Bob was older and the only person in our group that could or would out drink me. It wasn’t long before I met “Bob’s Daughter”. That was my nickname for Felicity for the next year. Felicity and I began dating and then had lived together for around year when I didn’t come home one night. I had been too drunk to drive so I slept it off, so I thought. Around 7 am on November 13, 2005, I flipped my car going around a curve on Highway 48 in Brushy. I could have easily killed myself or someone else with my carelessness. I was arrested for DUI that morning. Felicity came to the scene of the wreck but wasn’t mad at me. She was scared for me. Even though I was being so selfish and unlovable, she loved me anyway. She loved me even though I didn’t deserve it. This thought would come back to me years down the road about how Christ loved me even when I didn’t deserve it. It’s kind of funny now, I decided while sitting in the back seat of a TN Highway Patrol car that I was gonna marry her. I was going to settle down and quit drinking.
We did get married almost a year later but it had only taken me a few months to start drinking again. But from then on, I did it at home.
Fast forward 8 years. I was drinking at least a 12 pack every day. I didn’t want to go anywhere with my family because it would mean I couldn’t drink. Even church on Sundays. I spent every evening working and drinking in my shop, away from my family. Never realizing what I was giving up for my addiction.
Then the day came that would forever change the lives of everyone in my home and many others.
It was Monday afternoon, January 20, 2014. Felicity got a call that Bob, her dad, had been hospitalized, again. His drinking had brought him to the brink of death. Felicity hadn’t been speaking to him much because she was angry about his choice to continue drinking even though doctors had told him it would kill him. But this time we knew it wouldn’t be a brief hospital stay. Now, we believed in God. We didn’t even realize we weren’t saved. Felicity became worried about Bob’s salvation. That was her biggest concern. We knew Bob didn’t have a lot of time left. We reached out to the new pastor here at Maple Valley, Bro. Bryan. He and Bro. Jay Harrington agreed to go to the hospital with Felicity and the kids to see Bob and pray for him. I stayed home!!
I didn’t pay attention to how selfish that was. My bride was losing her father and I stayed home because I had a bottle of vodka to drink. Going to the hospital to see Bob dying from drinking, let alone going with the preacher would have been a real buzz kill.
I sat alone in my office that evening with only my bottle of vodka. I don’t know if I was feeling guilty or ashamed for not going to the hospital with my wife. I guess I started realizing the seriousness of the situation. I decided to do something I never did. I prayed for my wife, I prayed for Caitlin. They were about to lose their daddy. I prayed like I never had before. I pleaded with God to be with them, to comfort them. I prayed hard for Bob. I never thought about the fact that I was following the same path Bob took. During what was my first ever, real time of prayer, God done something. He changed something in my heart. He made me realize that just saying that I believed in Him wasn’t enough. While I was pleading with God on behalf of Felicity, Caitlin and Bob I realized I needed to pray for myself. I realized I needed God in my life. I cried and begged for His forgiveness. I asked Him to make me the man He intended me to be. I gave up control over my life to the One who gave me life. Remember earlier when I said something about being loved even when I was unlovable, when I didn’t deserve it? I found out God loved me still!! I’ll forever praise Him for what He done for me that night. And on the cross 2,000 years ago. He took away my desire to drink. I have been sober for 5 years 2 months and 4 days. He gave me a heart to serve and seek Him. He made me a new man. The man I wanted to be as a kid. He gave me a new love for my wife and my children.
I was by Felicity’s side for the next 2 months as Bob was in the nursing home and eventually passed on March 20, 2014. Bro. Jay told of Bob’s profession of faith. On February 16, 2014, I was baptized and became a member of Maple Valley.
Over the next year or so everyone in my household surrendered their lives to Christ.
Later that year I was asked by Bro. Bryan to start/teach/lead the RA’s. I was scared to death but willing to serve. I learned as much if not more than the boys I lead. It was a true blessing to me.
A year or so later the need arose here at Maple Valley for a new classroom. My work was slow that winter, so I offered to build the new addition. It was my attempt to serve and show appreciation for what this church and God had done for me. I fell way behind on my bills but managed to get the classroom finished. Then this church gave me almost the exact same amount needed to get caught up on all my payments. God took care of me.
A few years ago Felicity and I were asked to lead the youth and teach their Sunday school class as a team. We accepted and are still serving in those positions. If you know much about the activities, we do as a youth group then you know it’s impossible to keep up without God having our back.
On February 19, 2017, I was ordained as a Deacon. This makes use of the heart to serve others that God planted in me when he renewed my spirit.
This is where I quit writing last night. This morning I woke up as usual to my phone going off with my “verse of the day” from my bible app. The verse was Ezekiel 36:26 NIV- I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. That was inspiring to me this morning.
Last year I had the privilege of baptizing someone very close to me. I was thrilled to watch as they were being obedient to Jesus’ instructions.
This July I will be going with the team from here at Maple Valley to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip to serve and show the love of Jesus, and maybe get to tell them about Him too!! It’s a little funny because I had always told myself that I’d never get on an airplane again. But several years ago, I also told God, as it is said in Isaiah 6:8 “Here I am Lord, send me”
The main points of this; My testimony is that 1) You are never too far gone, too lost, too unclean for God to do wonderous things in your life. You don’t have to “get your act together” before God will love you. He will lead you to a better life. He will help fight your battles if you trust in Him. 2) God can and will use you for His glory if you are a willing vessel. 3) Acts 4:12 says, Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved. John 14:6 says, Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.
Our salvation is not from our parents or from having several generations before us being members at a certain church. Our salvation comes from and through Jesus. From our acceptances of him as our personal Lord and Savior. It was paid for by His blood on that cross and through His resurrection. Smile Jesus Loves You!!
